A breakup can be one of the most difficult times of our lives. I know the feeling of putting everything you have into a person only to find out that you weren’t good enough in their estimation. It is my belief that sometimes we spend so much time trying to make someone else happy that we forget to be happy with ourselves. And what’s worse, we forget how to be happy. This is a key to overcoming depression after breakup.
I’ve been in a relationship where I have given up everything that I had previously enjoyed. The gym, video games, sports, friends and even some family members all of which I gave up in an ill-fated attempt to make my “significant” other happy. None which actually made her happy.
I know that I am not alone in this, and that is why I want to share with you what I went through and how I was able to overcome the pain of my breakup. Here is how you deal with depression after break up with a narcissist.
I thought I lost all of my friends:
If you are like me, and gave up your friends for your girlfriend or boyfriend, then you might feel like nobody will want to hear from you again. Being single with no friends after breakup can be difficult but, I’ve learned that couldn’t be further from the truth. Your friends are friends for a reason, they love you and genuinely want to see you happy. So even though it may be uncomfortable, give them a call and tell them what is on your mind and how you are feeling and what you are going through. They will listen and help you get out of your state by doing and saying the right things.
I forgot how to care about me:
I had a girlfriend who was such a narcissist that she just had to be the center of everything. Foolishly I gave in and made my entire life revolve around her. I made money so that she could live in the area she wanted, I cooked for her, cleaned for her made sure she was always taking care of. Of course, when dating a narcissist nothing is ever enough. So when it was over I no longer knew how to make me happy.
I suggest that, after a break up (especially from a long term relationship) you spend some time with yourself. Relearn who you are and what makes you happy.
How to fall back in love with YOU- Recovering from break-up after a long term relationship:
- Exercise: seeing your body transform is very good for boosting confidence
- Spend time with friends: The laughs you have when with people you love to go a long way towards loving yourself again
- Tell yourself that you are a good person: Never forget to remind yourself that you are worthy of love.
- Take on a new hobby: Getting good at something and overcoming new challenges has a profound effect on self-esteem
- Hang around positive people: Being around positive people helps you to think positively
- Cry: Allow yourself to sulk in pain. Cry your heart out! Wail if you need to. It’s OKAY to let out all the pain. It’s one of the healthiest way to overcome depression after breakup.
There is a plus side to being single
I know you feel lost right now but being single isn’t all bad. Do you like going out for a night on the town? Go do it. Do you like those shoes you saw at the store the other day? Go buy them. It’s one of the most authentic ways to overcome depression after breakup.
The ability to be able to do what you want, when you want, and not have to worry about you’re your boyfriend might think very liberating. There is a freedom to being single that you will soon enjoy again.
Here are some things that helped me:
Just for you:
Most of all, I want you to understand that you are not a bad person. You are not inadequate in any way. You are still the same great person you were before your breakup. So make sure to take enough time out of each day to love yourself. After all, you are the most important person that you could ever love.